Ask some of the fellow Procrastinators and they’ll tell you I’m not as big on the whole World War 2 genre, era, etc as the rest of them are.  I certainly don’t dislike it, or find it boring for that matter, it just never hit me like it did for so many others.  With that nugget of information you might be thinking why I should be reviewing a game set during World War 2.  Couple reasons, I like FPS’es and playing Call of Duty 2 when I bought my 360 at launch was some good times.  Does Brothers In Arms Hell’s Highway  invoke some of those same memories, or does it feel more like high school history homework?  Click the read more Private, or drop and give me 20!!!

For those who didn’t know(myself included), Hell’s Highway is actually the third part in the B.I.A series.  Having known this a head of time I would have caught myself up on the previous games stories, so if you’re like me and this is your first foray into the world of B.I.A I recommend checking out the previous games stories(if you care about that sort of thing).  If not, be prepared to be confused…I warned you.  On the plus side the characters are decent, and if you’ve watched Saving Private Ryan and or Band of Brothers you’ll be able to get the gist of the personalities.  You’ll still be confused with the story, but it’s not a deal breaker.  I was actually quite surprised how much the game’s story revolved around the psychology of the soldiers you take command of.  I expected that sort of take in a movie, but not from a FPS.  That being said what happens isn’t anything you haven’t already seen in a war film, but excellent voice work and using some stereotypical cliches help draw you into the men’s plight.  The game takes place during “Operation Market Garden” which I’m sure WW2 buffs know all about, but was something entirely new for me so I must say I found that very refreshing.  I can’t comment on how the rest of the series looked, but while playing Hell’s Highway it felt like watching some kind of combination of Saving Private Ryan meets Band of Brothers.  I both liked and disliked this association.  Steven Spielberg brought a new style to the World War 2 genre when he made Saving Private Ryan.  It’s documentary/ “being apart of the squad” feel has been copied and pasted into everything World War 2 since.  It’s a masterwork of style and I really like it, but good lord am I sick and tired of it.  Please Please Please developers and creators I desperately plead with you to rethink the look and feel of this genre.

Those gripes aside, I had a good time playing this game.  The squad controls are solid, and your A.I. controlled teammates rarely do anything completely retarded.  They’ll go for cover whenever you order them towards a new objective.  They’re also good shots, but it never felt like they did everything for you.  They wont move from their location until you order them to which means you wont have to worry about them following you if you’re trying to sneak around to engage the enemy from the sides.  I commend the developers for putting together good squad based tactics that run smooth for the majority of the game.  The cover system works well although I found myself having to manually angle the camera whenever I wanted to move my character while in cover.  While not as smooth as Call of Duty 4, for the most part you wont be able to put the blame on the controls because you died.  The graphics are solid, but become repetitive as you journey throughout each level.  One of the best levels actually takes place inside an abandoned hospital during night.  I got a few chills down my spine at times, and it was a much needed boost to break up some of the monotony(it’s all here folks, a sniper level, an escort level, a sneak level, the “I’ve lost everything but my pisto levell”, etc etc).  Kudos to the sound department for doing a good job with all the various gun shots, reloading, explosions, etc.  To put it simply, if you like squad based FPS games, you should give this one a whirl even if you’re not thrilled with the era.  If you prefer going solo, and the mere mention of having to order multiple squads around gives you a headache then you can probably do without this one. 

80/100

–Gamin

Silent Hill, a franchise held in high regards by many a survival horror fan.  Silent Hill 2 is often looked upon as the Empire Strikes Back of the series.  Setting the standard that many argue still hasn’t been bested by any of the sequels.  My experience with the series is spotty at best.  I played a little bit of both Silent Hill and Silent Hill 2.  I enjoyed my time in Silent Hill, but preferred the “comfort” of Raccoon City.  Silent Hill’spsychological approach to the genre definitely trumps Resident Evil’s “shoot zombie in head NOW!” mentality, BUT sometimes you just want to kick ass and take some zombie names.  That being said the real question for Silent Hill fans is: can Silent Hill Homecoming knock the reigning champ (Silent Hill 2) off it’s throne, or will the Queen shout: “OFF WITH IT’S HEAD!!!?”  Click the Read More to find out…IF YOU DARE!!!!!

As I stated earlier my experience with Silent Hill isn’t much compared to fans of the series, but what I did play I was able to see the good and the bad of the series.  Something I always found interesting was having a main character who had pretty much no combat experience whatsoever.  It’s a role many players themselves in real life fall into which helps add to the suspense.  While I applaud the creators for thinking outside the box, I also have to wag my finger at them.  If you’re going to place me in the shoes of someone who doesn’t know how to fight than don’t give me a fight mechanic that also punishes the player for not having any actual fighting experience either.  The controls weren’t what you’d call “smooth” in previous Silent Hill entries.  To be fair they never were terribly great in the early Resident Evil games either, but you know what made up for it?  GUNS and things that blew s**t up!  Silent Hill gave me a pipe….I know I know it makes sense in the game, and that’s not what I’m knocking just so we’re clear.  Why focus on this so much?  Well, when news surfaced that the protagonist of Silent Hill Homecoming was going to be a war veteran my interest in the game soared.  Finally a character who can handle the crazy wacky creatures that make up the world of Silent Hill.

When I turned on the game I noticed something was missing.  There wasn’t an option to invert the Y axis(English for up is down and vice-versa) for the camera.  Sure you could invert it for when you fired a gun, but then and only then.  What the hell people?  I tired it and it was a disaster.  Getting used to up is up and down is down then having to switch back when shooting something pretty much made me avoid using the firearms unless I absolutely had to.  That right there really pissed me off.  Here I have someone who can actually use a gun, but now the game makes ME unable to use one effectively.  Why can’t we just have a third person view and a first person view?  That’s how Metal Gear Solid 2 did it.  That’s how Metal Gear Solid 3inproved upon it, and I think it worked out just fine(that was my Tony Stark impression just in case you didn’t catch that.) For those who don’t invert you’ll have no problems.  It took me to about the second to last area before I got pretty comfortable with the gun controls.  That in and of itself didn’t completely ruin the game for me.  It just frustrated me cause here I thought that problem would be solved.  Oh well perhaps Silent Hill 6: Pyramid Head’s Vacation will fix everything.  The only other problem I had with the combat came in the form of the blocking option.  It just felt uneven.  At times I’d be able to pull it off then get my butt kicked ten minutes later.  It takes a lot of practice, but on the bright side once you nail it you’ll be nigh unstoppable.  Combat overall is better, but it still needs to be smoother.  Where this game really shines is in the story and atmosphere.  The sound design is fantastic(music like previous Silent Hillgames is top notch).  The lighting, and the film grain effect placed on the visuals helps keep you in that creeped out mood.  Homecoming has several endings to add some replay value, and occasional dialogue options during the course of the game help determine what ending you’ll get.  I still had some “what the hell?” moments during the story, but the mood is so spot on I forgave any questionable plot points that came up.  About the only real complaint regarding the story would be that about 80% of it ends up being told in the tail end of the game.  I would of preferred it spread throughout the game instead of shoved in your face as you neared the end.  All in all though I had a good time playing this game.  Hell, I dressed up as the main character for this past Halloween if that tells you anything.  Despite a rough combat system(still better than previous titles), some uneven boss fights that ranged from easy(I’m looking at you last boss) to “Oh hell I need more first aid!”(first or was it second boss?).  For any fan of the psychological horror genre, Silent Hill Homecoming is a good rental/discounted purchase, but due to it’s more combat oriented nature it may put off SH purists.

Silent Hill fans: 85/100

Non-Silent Hill fans: 70/100

–Gamin

Hello Ladies and Gents of all shapes and sizes to a brand new feature from yours truly.  I found myself contemplating the trials and tribulations one Fall day regarding how long winded my reviews general end up being.  It hit me that not everyone has the time, or the patience (both perhaps) to read some film school grads opinion on whatever has occupied his mind this week.  So for those, myself included, who just want the nitty-griddy on something without having to read words pulled from an online thesaurus just to sound all professional like, I present a Quickie.  As you’ve no doubtingly noticed the title of said Quickie(I’ll repeat it for those who’ve already forgotten)…Jesus I thought these were suppose to be short.  It’s already a freakin paragraph and he hasn’t even talked about the game yet.  Perhaps now would be a good time to bounce.  I would but I’m stuck in his head.  Pray for me…. Lego Batman takes the honor(?) of being my first Quickie.  Click the read more to feel it for yourself…yes I realize the irony(shut up Alanis)of taking a term commonly used for s*e*x and applying it to a family friendly video game…

Traveler’s Tales has taken us to a galaxy far far away to save a Princess and destroy an evil Empire. They then took us to more familiar locales such as India, South America, and the Middle East(although many people actually consider those places to be a galaxy far far away…) in search of fortune and glory.  Where could Traveler’s Tales possibly take us now that wont feel like second fiddle?  What franchise could possibly hold it’s own against such powerhouses like Star Wars and Indiana Jones.  The answer: Batman.  Traveler’s Tales copied and pasted integrated their patented Lego formula into the world of the Dark Knight.  Is it up to snuff? Yes and no.  The story, unlike Lego Star Wars and Indiana Jones, is not based on any of the films.  While you could say the style and many of the various locations are plucked straight from the Tim Burton flicks, with a dash of Adam West/Burt Ward wackiness thrown in for spice, the story itself is original.  Batman and Robin must stop all the various Villains from doing bad things to the world and Gotham City itself.  I chuckled at times(Lego Joker steals the show), but the laughs just weren’t as solid like they were in Lego Star Wars.  The controls are the same as you’ll find in any of the post Lego Star Wars(excluding first prequel) games minus any of the cool whip features present in Lego Indy.  I found this really weird.  Travelers Tales previous game had you using the whip for all sorts of things, but apparently decided to leave those out for Lego Batman.  I know pretty much only Catwoman uses a whip, but still it’s just weirdness.  Why go backwards?  I realize these games are made for young whippersnappers, but with the amount of adults that foray into the Lego realm it could definitely use a major overhaul.  Oh and where the hell is the online multiplayer Traveler’s Tales?

The same brick smashing Lego building mechanic from previous Lego titles fits well into Batman’s world, and will still bring a smile every time you build one of the many strange contraptions scattered throughout the Gotham City.  By the end of the game I did question though how much more of the same game mechanic I’d be able to handle in future Lego games.  Still, Lego Batman offers a wide variety of characters, gadgets, and vehicles.  Some cool(a sweet looking Batmobile), some kinda lame(a vacuum gun suit for Robin), but all ultimately fun.  If you’re a guy or gay who loves attention to even the littlest detail then you’ll no doubtingly get a kick out of Lego Batman(unless you don’t like Batman for some reason then honestly I don’t know why you’re even reading this?).  That kick could last you only a half an hour, or it could last you the whole way through.  This is one title that relies heavily on your love for the source material.  I just hope for Traveler’s Tales next project they step back for a moment to consider throwing some new thoughts and ideas into their solid Lego formula.  A definite rental for all Batman/Lego fans, but only a purchase for die-hards who “gotta collect them all!”

Batman fans: 80/100.

Non-Batman fans: 70/100.

–Gamin

     I just finished watching the Bernard Hopkins, Kelly Pavlik fight and I have to say I was truly impressed. For those of you who were unlucky enough to see the fight let me share with you what you missed. An “old” veteran (Bernard, 43) beating the snot out of a younger “tougher” fighter (Pavlik, 26). I have never been a Bernard Hopkins fan. I have always rooted against him. I thought he was too cocky and a loud mouth. ”Who the hell does this old man think he is?!” I used to say. Well this past Saturday night he showed the world who he was. What impressed me about Bernard in this particular fight was the fact that he did not fight like an “old” man which is what he looked like in his last few fights. Hopkins has always been a great defensive fighter, and that is how he has won most of his fights in his career. But on this night when that opening bell rang Hopkins came out on the offensive and dominated for 12 straight rounds. Not just dominating but giving Pavlik one hell of a boxing lesson. Now Pavlik is no slouch. He is the current middle weight champion of the world (they fought at 170 lbs. so Pavlik did not loss his middle weight title) and was undefeated. Pavlik is a young, strong, aggressive fighter who was hoping a win over Bernard Hopkins would be his first step into the boxing elite. Unfortunately for him the “Old Man” had other ideas. Bernard fought not like a 43 year old on his way out, but like a 21 year old on his way up. Hopkins was faster, constantly beating Pavlik to the punch. Hopkins was slicker always circling to Pavlik’s left to avoid Pavlik’s right hand, and to put himself into position to fire with his own. If Bernard was in a corner or against the ropes he would slip Pavlik and fire away leaving Pavlik looking like the “old” man trying to keep up with the ”youngster.” Nobody thought Hopkins had it in him. We all knew he was a tough, tricky fighter, and that it would be a competitive fight. But nobody thought Hopkins could still fight like that. Most of the boxing media thought Pavlik would beat Hopkins with shear aggression and punch output, and Hopkins was a 4-1 underdog. Well after the final bell rang and the decision was given out with Hopkins winning practically every round he simply walked over to one side of the ring where all the press was sitting, and he just looked out at them. Staring each one down as if saying “THAT’S RIGHT! I DID IT YOU M******F******!” Well on Saturday night I officially became a Bernard Hopkins fan and it only took little over a decade.

     Another “old” dog showing it still has some spunk left is my personal favorite FPS, Unreal Tournament. Unreal Tournament is one of the few games that still lets players design their own material for the game. Anything from game maps to character skins to full fledged game modes. Hell, if someone really wanted to they could create an entirely new game. This game franchise used to be the staple of FPS’ but in the past couple of years other games have been dominating. Games like Call of Duty, Battlefield, FarCry, BioShock, Halo, and a dozen others. These are all fine games and they have all earned their spot as the FPS elite. This is a new era we live in and games are constantly adding new mechanics and depth to the FPS experience, and unfortuantly the newest Unreal Tournament, UT3 has fallen a bit short in comparison to some of these newer fancier games. But like the “old” war horse that it is Unreal Tournament is far from dead. Fans of the Unreal series have taken full advantage of the fact that they are still capable of creating pretty much whatever they want in the game. So whatever Unreal may lack, players can simple add it in themselves. Not enough Death Match maps for you? Weeeell just hop on the Internet and…looky here 80 more maps to play on. “Hmm, you know I feel like playing as a gigantic cybernetic bunny. Oh my God! somebody has created just that!” “WHAT! They took out my favorite game mode Bombing Run! Those basta…oh wait someone just created it. Well ok then. I feel better!” It is really hard to count any game out, even one as dated as Unreal, when it is still capable of growing and evolving into something better than when it first started. It may have some grey hairs and a bit of a beer belly, but it can still woop some ass when it wants to.

     So it just goes to show no matter how “old” or “dated” some people might think someone or something is they could surprise you. And trust me you don’t want to be on the recieving end when one of those old codgers decideds to prove themselves. Just because your older it doesn’t mean you have stop being who you are or stop doing the things you like to do. Just say ”To hell with it!” and be you.  To quote from one of the finest films of all time “I didn’t hear no bell!”

A review of Sleeping Beauty? Yes! I have a deep and abiding love of animation, as I think I have stated before. So when the billboards went up saying that it was coming out of the vault, well I snapped it up. I have very fond memories of this film, and despite not having seen it in years, remembered quite a bit of it when I watch it last night.The case is like pretty much all of the Disney classic films, two disks with all the good special features on the second disk. Bonus, this time they thought to put in a case that is single wide, unlike Snow White, which makes storing it much much easier.

The film has been lovingly restored to a level of polish that rivals a diamond. All the film grain, dust, and color shifts have been smoothed out and the format restored to it’s full size, it was made for Super Technirama 70, a 70mm film format w/ a fancy name, so the frames are huge and gorgeous! I almost wish it was a Superbit DVD, although the images are almost that clear. The colors so rich a lavish that you can almost fall into the frame.

The story is unchanged (and that’s a good thing), so nothing big there.

This film stands out among so many great Disney films because it has style for days. And that the style was not watered down hardly at all by the “Disney Style”. Till this film many of the art directors had to deal with the fact that their fantastic vision of the film would be mediated by the animation team. While this is natural and understandable it is very interesting to wonder how Alice in Wonderland would have looked if it was more like how Mary Blair [Wikipedia] had envisioned it. But this was not the case in Sleeping Beauty, the film maintained the amazing talents of Eyvind Earl [Wikipedia]. This was upheld in the face of the complaints of the animation department, this would be one of the few times that Mr. Disney would not side with the animators.

The style is also very different in the music as well, Tchaikovsky’s ballet score was used as most of the film’s musical background, unlike the more broadway style songs of Cinderella or Snow White. The sweeping score also really helps give the film an added sense of depth and motion.

I could go on for a while, but most of this is covered in the “Making of” special feature on the second disk.

To sum up RUN, do not walk, over to Amazon, or your retailer of choice, and buy this DVD/Blu-Ray. It is well worth it!

So… Seems like that is the big thing in all of the Coen Brother’s movies.  Well i guess that’s not all of it… Usually there is a ton of humor that tries to sneak in just under the radar, then that OH MY G… moment where everything changes.  Burn After Reading is no exception.  You do need to go in with certain expectations though.  To see a Coen Bros. film you need to know if they have your sense of humor, then you need to know if you are open to seeing the subject cast in a that humorous light.  That said, i guess i should get to the subject.

Well, i guess the subject is the CIA, but just like every C-Bs. film the real subject is the characters.  The plot, setting etc. all get relegated to supporting cast roles and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  You have your uptight CIA analyst that just lost his job and has anger issues, played by the ever impressive John Malkovich.  There’s the lonely fitness club manager with a destroyed physical self-image, played by the C-Bs. film veteran Frances McDormand.  A enthusiastic but slightly slow personal trainer, played by Brad Pitt. Finally there is the clueless, ego driven U.S. Marshall, played by George Clooney.  There are more characters that are fleshed out with infinite care and humor, but I’d be typing all day if i gave them all credit here.  With all these characters there is one thing to bear in mind.  You need to decide if these are character’s flaws are something you are willing to laugh at.  There is a story, but the real plot is how all of these characters flaws feed off each other and go out of control.

If you are ready for this type of story, you will have tons of humor sitting in front of you.  Every line is great, and reveals the character’s essence, but the quality of the acting an direction gives just as much enjoyment from simple facial expressions.  McDormand is a real treat to see, especially after seeing Fargo, because almost every facial expression is identical, but completely new at the same time.  The blank stares and enthusiastic smiles translate so much differently between a shallow self-loathing person and a confident thorough one.  Its a treat to see. Every character is handled with the same amount of effort and care.  A simple fight between spouses seems like poetry, when you can observe there desperate or disappointed expressions.  That is the reason I enjoy Coen movies so much.

The non-character related plot is simple, but to explain it would give away too much of the story and ruining the joy of unraveling it through these character’s eyes.  I can’t do that to you all.  You just have to see it.

Rated - R for good reason

Reviewed - A (93% awesome)

Ok the story behind the books.  The Twilight books were written by Stephenie Meyer.  Apparently, it is loved by all these young girls who scream at the author like she is some 90’s boy band and we are back in the era of “Backstreet’s back, ALRIGHT!”  I was actually completely ignorant of this phenomenon till I read Entertainment Weekly’s article about the upcoming movie.  I was curious.  So I decided to give it a try.

I can sum up the series in one sentence:  Teenage girl and vampire fall in love. 

The first book in the series is Twilight.  We meet Bella.  She moves to Forks, Oregon to live with her father.  She becomes attracted to a strange young man, Edward, and yadda yadda yadda, everyone can guess the rest.  The characters were boring, I could not even imagine readers actually caring about these people.  But for some bizarre reason I kept reading.  That is what confused me, I had no idea why I kept reading.  The story was never anything to rave about, it was mediocre at best.  But I kept thinking maybe Stephenie Meyer does have something here because I keep reading it and that must be for a reason right?   In reality, it was my curiosity that got me.  I always finish a book I have started even if I do not like it, I mean I started it, I want to know how it ends.  Plus it wasn’t a horrible book, it was just mediocre.  Stephanie Meyer did not completely lose me…not yet anyway.  No, she did that that with the next books in the series. 

The next book in the series is New Moon.  Even at the time of buying this book, I questioned why the hell I was buying it when I barely liked the first one.  A few reasons, I had nothing else on my reading agenda (I am a huge book nerd and ALWAYS need to be reading something), and again my curiosity, I just want to know how the story ends.  I know the book will not be that good and the ending probably won’t be either, but I feel like I am in the middle of the story when I know there are other books out there that continue where I left off.  Plus it is not like I despised the books. Not yet anyhow.  In this book, Edward feels it is too dangerous to be with Bella and decides to leave.  Bella completely falls apart, and I do not mean someone who just gets broken up with.  The girl just ceases to “live” because she is so broken up about thinking Edward does not love her anymore.  This whole situation annoyed me.  First of all, any dumb ass could see that he did not leave because he did not love her anymore.  Second, she literally can not “live” anymore because he is gone. She becomes a ”zombie”. When he first leaves she decides to lay out on the forest and she loses consciousness.  For what reason?  I have no clue. I really tried to calm myself down, with some reasoning.   For example, she is dumb because she is 18.  We are all dumb at 18.  And okay the story is part fantasy, so I guess their bond is so great that she can no longer live without him?  Hm, I still wasn’t  satisfied with my rationalization but hell my curiosity is a wondrous thing so I kept reading.  Of course the obvious happens… they eventually reunite and gooey ’BS’ transpires.  One thing you need to be warned of with Stephanie Meyer is she uses an excessive amount of gooey ‘BS’.  And I do not mean anything with an ounce of perversion. THAT would at least make scenes entertaining to read. It’s just a lot of cuddling and “I can’t live without you” nonesense.  Uuuuugggggghhhhhh.  I mean how much can one person take?  Every other paragraph is soft, PG cuddly ‘BS’.  And I for one had to deal with a lot of in mouth vomiting. Not even joking.

Eclipse, is the third book in the series and is what pushed me over the brink of officially hating Stephanie Meyer.  The whole story of Eclipse is Bella struggling with being best friends with a werewolf and having a vampire as her boyfriend.  Werewolves and vampires are mortal enemies.  Sounds like it could be interesting right? I’ll give you a hint… it’s not.  The whole book is spent with them just fighting over her. I wish Stephenie Meyer could please enlighten me as to why anyone would want to fight over such a boring character as Bella?  Please…enlighten me.  Second, Bella is still as dumb as Terry giving dollar blow jobs behind ‘Tacos Tacos Tacos.’  You would think that after several life threatening situations the girl would brighten up a little bit, but no she is still a freaking idiot.  She can not figure out what “mortal enemies” means.  Even after both werewolf and vampire explain it to her she still can not wrap her dumb little girl mind around it.  And I feel like she is always getting in the way.  When shit goes down, what does Bella do?  She tries to figure out a way to get involved some how. Yeah that’s smart. YOUR MORTAL! Call me crazy but I think the extra strong werewolves and vampires can handle things a lot better when they don’t have to watch out for your pansy ass.  The problem is she is a “little” girl, and this I believe is the core of my passionate hate.

I could not bring myself to read the last book.  My annoyances have reached their limit and I just can not endure anymore.  I am actually angry with myself for spending money on these books and helping Stephanie Meyer amass her fortune. In summation: One, who would even care about these characters?  They are not interesting or enjoyable, at all. Two, The story is so obvious I guessed everything that was coming up before Stephanie Meyer even knew what she was writing.  But my biggest complaint with this whole series is, Stephanie Meyer. I think I hate the real life author Stephanie Meyer as much as I hate the fictional character of Bella. Were you actually planning on taking several steps back from the Women’s Movement or did that just happen by accident? Stephenie Meyer, for God’s sakes you are A WOMAN!!!  Why don’t you try writing like one?  Bella’s whole life is based around her relationship with Edward.  Actually cross that, Belle has no life, it is all Edward.  It is completely disgusting.   She made Bella this weak little girl who asks her boyfriend for permission to do anything!  She bases all her decisions on him.  She literally can not even stay angry with him because the moment she looks at him all she wants is to cling to him.  She is even willing to turn un-dead for him.  And THIS is what little girls are reading?!?!  Like little girls do not get enough fairy tale ‘BS’? No, now they are reading a fairy tale about some weak girl who can not do shit without her boyfriend!  What is this teaching them??  Little girls need STRONG WOMEN to look up to, not some sad, pathetic, useless, little girl.  Ugh, I am so disgusted.  I literally had to stop reading the third book several times because I was disgusted by it.  Between the gooey ’BS’ I had to endure and the weak female lead I think it’s safe to blame any stomach sickness I had was do to this offensive piece of crap.  I mean really Stephanie Meyer, is this the best you could do?  Your a disgrace to all those strong, independant women out there.  Can we please vote her out of being a woman? PLEASE!

5. Chess. I really suck at this game. No joke. I am truly horrible. I walk right into traps and end up messing myself up, but despite that I can’t help but really like to play. I like the fact that this game relies on pure skill. There is no luck involved. You have to simply out play your opponent. Your strategies have to be better. ”Don’t move until you see it.”  

4. Scene It. My younger sister introduced me to this movie trivia game, and since we like to watch a lot of movies this game was right up our ally. This is a great group game when you have a bunch of friends over. This game not only comes with trivia cards but also comes with a dvd with a ton of different mini games and trivia questions that you get to play throughout the game. This game is also very good for nerdy trash talking.   

3. Sorry. This game was one I liked to play when I was younger. It was easy to play and pick up and I believe this game was the start of my trash talking career. It was just so much fun yelling out “SORRY!” to your friend as you forced his little game piece back…or forward?…or did you make them lose a turn? Well what ever it did it was bad ass!   

2. Scrabble. I really don’t know why I like this game I can’t spell to save my life and my vocabulary is that of a 4th grader (which you can easily tell from reading any of my posts). But my one strength is that I am pretty good at squeezing out a lot of points by strategically placing my letters or words in high scoring places. I always loved it when I would beat my older sister. She would use these crazy words but get no points for them because she put them in crappy spots. I would end up beating her by simply putting a words like ‘zoo’ or ‘ax’ on a triple word or triple letter space.   

1. Axis & Allies. This game has been around a while and it is a board game based on the Second World War. This game is sort of a cross between Monopoly and Risk but cooler than both.  It’s a game for 5 people. Three people are on one team taking on the role of the Allied powers (The United States, The United Kingdom, and Russia) and the other two take on the role of the Axis powers (Germany and Japan) during World War 2. Each player starts the game with a series of territories already under their control and a bunch of different units (infantry, tanks, fighters, bombers, AA guns, battleships, submarines, aircraft carriers, and transport ships, and industrial complexes) they get to use to try and expand their territory. You earn money based on what territories you control at a given time and use that money to buy additional units or to increase the power of your already existing units. The ultimate goal is to try and take 2 of the opposing teams capitals. The first team to do this wins the war. This game can be a little complex at times and is very strategic. A couple years ago they released a revised addition of this game with a bigger board and they completely reworked all of the territories. They also altered the strength of certain units and they added 2 new units, artillery cannons and destroyers. They also added what they call “national advantages” which are optional rules. Each country gets six completely different and unique powers to use during the game. One example of this is the “Russian Winter”. Once during the game Russia can declare a severe winter. Until the start of their next turn, all russian infantry defend on a 3 instead of a 2. Anybody who has played the original game knows how awesome that can be for Russia since they can easily get stuck on the defensive for a good majority of the game. I haven’t picked up this new version of the game yet mainly do to the fact that none of my friends seem all that interested in playing anymore, but after reading some of the improvements they have made to the game I will probably pick one up anyway.

So there you have it. Read, discuss, criticize. You know you want to.

Expectations on a game that’s been in development since the days of the Playstation 1 are bound to be high.  Games of this nature tend to never live up to the hype unfortunately built around them while the game itself is being made.  Having said this, it still doesn’t change the fact that Too Human just isn’t that great of a game, and really could of used more polish time.  I had hopes after seeing gameplay footage that Too Human would be a cross between Devil May Cry and Diablo.  On the surface that sounds like a fantastic game to me.  The exciting action/combo performances of DMC, and the loot gathering/mob slaughtering of Diablo make for a perfect pairing…just not in this package.

Story. Hmm, I wish I could give you all a nice explanation, but like many things in this game it’s just not explained very well.  It’s a combination of Norse Mythology dropped into a futuristic setting.  That’s about the only original concept regarding the story.  We’re thrown into the shoes of a “god” named Baldur who we come to find had his wife killed.  Why? No clue…well okay that’s not entirely true, but it’s so convoluted that I’d rather stick with “no clue” instead.  The “god” Loki is of course the bad guy(how original) who after the first act sets things into motion.  Apparently these “gods” are suppose to be the protectors of the human race, but they’re not really “gods” per say…I think?  Again no explanation.  Suffice it to say I was pretty confused throughout the whole story.  It was like starting off with the second novel of a three part trilogy.  I couldn’t feel for any of the characters, nor any of the situations they were put into.  They all felt one dimensional and cliche.  On the plus side the voice actor for Baldur is very good, and the rest of the cast is decent; which at least gives you something to “enjoy” while you scratch your head in confusion trying to figure out what the hell is going on.  There’s also random dialogue spewed by your cannon fodder allies that drove me nuts.  Either they complained about wanting to die so they could go to Valhalla, or they complained that the bad guys were weak.  It’s nice when they die so you don’t have to hear them talk anymore.  In defense of the story, it is suppose to be a trilogy according to the developers, but that’s no excuse for a poorly introduced setting.  On a side note there’s a cutscene that’s practically lifted from Mass Effect.  Same camera motions, angles, etc.  It pissed me off, but that’s just me. 

Graphics/Sound. For a game at this point in the “next-gen” cycle the graphics are decent, but I’ve seen much better.  There’s been a few clipping errors here and there, but overall a solid experience.  I’m happy that during the cutscenes Baldur wears(minus any helmet) all the same armor and weapons you have equipped on him.  I like when games do that cause it helps keep me “into” the experience.  The weapon models and armor are okay looking, but most of the swords, hammers, etc end up looking pretty much the same.  The armor on the other hand changes fairly frequently so at least there’s that.  The level designs weren’t so lucky.  If you like generic, gray, futuristic dungeon like ruins that rarely change from level 1 through 4(only four levels) then this is your game.   They do offer a nice forest like atmosphere when you enter “cyberspace”, but honestly there really is no excuse for a game’s level design to be so repetitive when you only have four levels.  Overall for what’s there it’s a decent graphical experience.  As for the sound design that’s something that really could of used an overhaul.  Your weapons, be they ranged or melee, never give you that “oh damn!” feeling when using them.  The differences between the weapons themselves feel so minute it’s hard to feel like your a “god” wielding something that’s suppose to be incredibly powerful.  They may look big, but beyond visuals there’s no substance.

Controls.  Unfortunately another downer for this game.  I like that they tried something new by mapping your melee attacks to the right analog stick sort of like those old arcade shooters back in the day, but too often you end up swinging away in the wrong direction.  Unlike say Devil May Cry where you really feel like you have total control of how you pull off combos.  More often than not in Too Human I felt like I was just randomly swinging each stick watching my character attack, and hoping I’d do what I wanted him to do.  I don’t want it to sound like it’s a complete mess, but honestly I never really felt “in control”.  The firearms are the same way.  The right trigger fires your primary shot while the left fires your secondary attack, in the case of pistols each hand gets one.  While firing with your pistol, rifle, or cannon you can change the location of the shot, or target with the right analog stick.  Sounds pretty clever right?  In theory it is, and about half the time it works.  Perhaps the worst part about the ranged combat happens after killing a foe, you’ll continue to attack it’s dead corpse.  It doesn’t move onto the next available target, and it has a difficult time, when you are surrounded by baddies which is pretty much 98% of your gaming experience, locking on to stuff.  Since the right analog stick is used for melee you’re forced to work with the game’s camera which can be a give and take relationship.  While it’s not as bad as many games with similar setups it can still be a frustrating journey.  Especially when the lock on system acts fidgety more often than not.  With some more polish this area of the game could of been spot on 100% of the time, but as of now it’s like 70%. although the more “practice” you get with the controls the better you can get them to work in your favor.  Of course that takes into account your willingness to bother.

Mood/tone/style/fun.  Do you like navigating menu screens?  Do you like spending more or less equal time assigning skill points, changing out armor/weapons as you do fighting repetitive looking monsters?  If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions then this is the game for you.  Why do you spend so much time in the menu system you ask?  Cause the game gives you so much equipment that you’ll be constantly changing out weapons and armor before you can really get a feel for them.  I guess this is why the developers spent little to no time on how the weapons act in the game world since you’ll be changing them so much.  In games like Diablo there’s a similar style of item drops, but the weapons and armor always felt more real than they do in this game.  I don’t mean to put the menu system down because in actuality it’s very well designed.  I really like the fact that you can spend credits to reassign all your skill points at any moment in the game.  Speaking of the skills they do a nice job of having melee and ranged related abilities that you can choose from.  Things like Charms and Ruins also help spice up the game although they do a horrible job of explaining how to use them.  In fact you have to play through the first level of the game before you can go to some menu screens back at your base which will explain how things work in the game.  Stupid?  Very.  I looked at a couple of these menus, and to my unsurprising nature they were nothing but boring text.  If you don’t mind reading endless text on how things are suppose to work then by all means knock yourself out.  I myself prefer it when developers figure out interesting “in game” ways of showing me how things work, but perhaps I’m alone.  One thing the game will show you over and over and over(if you die) is a Valkyrie coming down to scoop you up, and take you to Valhalla.  It’s a neat little touch…the first time, BUT you can’t skip it.  So be prepared for some waiting which takes you out of the game, and to me that’s never a good thing.  Speaking of dying, you’ll be doing it quite a bit thanks to only one Class choice being able to heal/regenerate.  Upon starting up a new game you get to select what Class you want your Baldur to be.  You have your ranged specialist, your melee specialist, your jack-of-all-trades dude, your tank, and the MEDDDDIIICCCCC!!!!!  I went for the Tank aka the Defender, but I still find myself dying left and right on certain levels.  Would it have been so hard to give every class the ability to grandually over time heal?  Sure baddies drop health orbs, but during many parts of the game they’re just not enough.  oh well what’s that saying “whatever doesn’t kill you….”  You’ll also have the option to go Cyborg or Human at a certain point in the game.  Once you decide…you can’t go back…so choose wisely young dennis hopper.  To help ease some of the pain of dying, Too Human  offers up co-op play, and I was fortunate enough to try it out with Kuna.  It’s definitely a highlight of the game.  Having an extra pair of blades and guns really helps out, and it’s fun to watch each other pull off the crazy attacks in the game.  Four player co-op would of really been nice, but I’ll take what I can get.  The only downside to co-op comes in the form of balancing.  The game doesn’t balance the bad guys it throws at you when co-oping.  Instead it throws baddies who are equal in level to the highest level player which means the other player will get slaughtered if they aren’t close in level to the higher level player.  When playing in co-op mode the game shuts off the cutscenes which is nice, but I would of preferred an all together separate campaign.  I mean come on the regular campaign itself is only four levels.  All in all you’ll be “playing” both the menu system, and slaughtering countless cybernetic robotic bad guys on pretty equal time scale.

Too Human is an odd game in that on one hand it really could of used more polish, but at the same time I find myself oddly addicted to it.  It’s sort of like junk food.  You know it’s horrible for you, but sometimes you just get that craving.  You don’t want to eat it all the time, but once in awhile it’s not so bad.  Something that could of helped make this a better game, since it’s been in development for 10 or so years, would of been a pair or two of outside eyes.  It’s like anything else, it’s always nice to get an outsiders perspective on something.  A lot of times they notice things that you otherwise would have missed.  Too Human would have benefited from this type of exercise.  Having said this if you can get past all the faults present in the game you might find yourself enjoying the repetitive hack/slash/loot gathering aspect of it.  It’s definitely geared more towards the World of Warcraft crowd in that aspect, but non-Warcraft fans might find something appealing here.  Give the demo a try and if you like that then rent it first.  Really give yourself a couple hours with the game before deciding on a purchase because by no means is this game for everyone.

69 out of 100

–Gamin

 ”Dead Alive” brings new meanings to the words gory and disturbing. I have honestly never seen so much fake blood in a single movie before. There are a lot of movies that leave you wanting more gore. This movie actually satisfied my need for it. It’s a lovely little story of a young man who is just looking for love and one day stumbles (literally) onto it. Unfortunatley for him his manipulative mother, a Sumatran rat monkey, and zombies get in the way. Once this movie gets revved up it does not stop. It is constantly topping itself. Just when you think Peter Jackson has taken the movie as far as it will go… “It couldn’t possibly get any more disturb…” It goes a bit farther “OH, SWEET CHRIST! Is that what I think it is?!”  Through out the film you are constantly torn between saying ”Ah, poor guy.” to “OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL!” to laughing your ass off over a zombie baby running amok in a park. This movie is definitely not for everyone, but if you love blood and gore and have a very sick and twisted sense of humor like I do you have to check it out.  Best line in the film “I kick ass for the Lord!”

My other zombie obsession this month is the video game “Siren: Blood Curse” for the PS3. This game is a mix of Silent Hill and Metal Gear Solid. That’s right Metal Gear. The game is about a group of people who are all drawn to a mysterious Japanese village for different reasons. They very quickly realize that there is something very wrong with not only the village but it’s inhabitants. They’re ZOMBIES! Through out the course of the game you play 7 different characters ranging from a scared little girl (who will start to cry if you leave her sitting in one spot for to long) who is unable to carry any weapon. To a gun toting angry Japanese man (who can snipe like a Mo Fo!). As each of the characters it is your job to explore and try to uncover the real story behind this haunted village. The controls in this game are kinda clunky especially when you compare them to a lot of other games, but they are manageable. The truly great thing about this game though is the atmosphere. It is very very dark and scary. If you want to see anything you have to have your character turn on his or her flash light. The down side? The zombies will notice you a lot easier with your flash light on. It is a dilemma, but one of the good kind that makes this game so much fun. Another thing that sets this game apart  from others like it is the fact that these zombies you can’t kill! You can shot them pointblank in the head. And they will go down. But if you sit and wait for a few minutes they get right back up as if nothing happened. So you will go wandering through an area you think is safe only to run back into a zombie you dropped just minutes ago, and oh, look he has a meat cleaver. One of the other cool things about this game is the ability to “sightjack”. It is a psychic ability that allows you to lock onto and see out of a targets eyes. This comes in very handy if you are trying to escape out of a certain area that is swarming with zombies but you have no idea where they are or where they are going. All you have to do is activate this ability and walla! Instant split screen! ”Oh look there’s a zombie in the very next room. Oh look he is leaving that room and is now making his way into my room. I better find a place to hide or better yet I could pick up that nifty acoustic guitar and bash his brains in. TEE HEE!” This game isn’t perfect by any means but it is still very creepy and a lot of fun. Especially when you play in the dark! So if you are a fan of zombies and/or scary games give this one a shot.