Archive for the ‘Games’ Category

Sup ladies and gentlemen.  i just found out some exciting news regarding Dawn of War 2, which if you don’t know is the sequel to one of(if not THE) greatest RTS franchises in the history of RTS games.  Let me give a little insight into the game that is Dawn of War.  Dawn of War, for those unfamiliar, is based on the table top game of Warhammer 40K.  My buddies and I use to play this all the time back in our youth.  We’d spend hours painting, playing, cheering, crying, and generally having a good time kicking the snot out of each other.  I remember towards the tale end of our days playing we’d talk about how awesome it would be if there was a Warhammer 40K version of Warcraft 2(that was the latest one out at the time).  We’d go all geeky about what kinds of troops, weapons, buildings, etc we could field into battle.  My imagination soared as I played the game in my head.  Alas for quite some time that was the only place I’d be able to “play” it.  Then jump almost 12 years later, and Relic finally granted my teenage dream, Dawn of War the RTS. (more…)

For those that don’t know, I’m not much of a serious fighting game player.  I’ve been a fan of the Dead or Alive series since back in the day, but beyond that I really don’t touch them unless hanging with friends at various get togethers.  I don’t have the interest or the patience to spend hours and hours learning how to pull off the complicated moves that each fighter from whatever fighting series can do.  Most of my friends tell me they’re not that complicated to learn, but like I said, I have no interest in learning.  It’s just not my thing; I want results and I want them now!  So it was to my surprise how much I thoroughly enjoyed Soul Calibur 4. (more…)

Hey everybody.  I recently picked up the second money printing product from Nintendo at Target with a little help from a certain fellow Procrastinator(thanks again kuna ).  I titled this review “round 1″ because I’m going to break it down into 3 parts.  Sure I could of titled it ”Part 1″, but to me Round 1 had a nice ring to it so I went with it.  If the thought of it not being titled ”Part 1″ drives you so crazy that you can’t continuing reading then I understand, and can most absurdly assume you’re crazy and should seek professional help ASAP.  For those of you still here, let’s get this started. (more…)

Here at the Procrastinators we decided to try something crazy, or perhaps wacky, and split DICE’es newest endeavor (the Xbox 360 version) into two reviews: single player and multiplayer.  I’ll be tackling the single player campaign while another fellow Procrastinator hits the multiplayer.  So without further a due let’s get right to it. (more…)

GTA 4 had been keeping my Xbox’s disc tray company for quite some time. I kept telling myself day after day I had to stop, and put in Lego Indy because I needed to do a review. My loyal one or two readers (thanks mom) haven’t had anything from me in a bit. I didn’t though. I kept on playing GTA 4. I used excuse after excuse not to put Lego Indy in.  I’ll beat GTA 4 then play Indy. Beat it, but still kept playing GTA 4.  I’ll just get a couple more of those “easy” achievements. Got them, but still kept playing GTA 4.  The GTA 4 juggernaut was ruling my video game world, and that needed to stop (or at least be postponed for a bit), but how? (more…)

He ran his hands across the wheel, feeling each bump and stitch of its surface. Gripping it, he heard a squeak and became aware of the leather’s grip to his bare hands. Niko Bellic sat in his jet-black Infernus, cradled in the luxurious cockpit, and he relished the adrenaline rush he knew was to come. Looking up at the stars, he felt that they were on his side. The left corner of his mouth lifted into a smirk as he dialed his friend.

“Yeah?!” the voice on the other end barked.

“Hey, Brucie. I feel like winning something. Know of any races?”

“NB! You’re an animal, baby! Yeah! There’s one in mid-Alderney! Get to Roebuck Road in Alderney City! Destroy ‘em!”

“Thanks.” (more…)

First off, if you have no idea what One Piece is then you probably don’t need to read any further.  Seriously, I won’t be offended if you stopped right now, and did something else.  Go ahead.  I’m sure you have some chores that need doing?  That hedge won’t trim itself you know.  Oh, hey you’re still here!  All right then.  Let’s talk One Piece!  One Piece Unlimited Adventure for the Wii is a mixed blessing.  While I applaud the game for doing an excellent job of capturing the feel of the show; the new English cast is quite good.  The game ultimately suffers from being a Wii only exclusive. (more…)

Finally, the rolling Banshee came to a sudden, sliding stop against the sound wall. Looking around, he could barely believe that, once again, he was not only alive, but relatively unharmed. Through the ringing in his ears, Niko Bellic could just barely hear the sirens. The police were still on his tail.

Crawling from the wreckage, Niko silently cursed the Mr. Faustin for sending him on yet another chore. Can’t this Russian thug take care of his own damn business? He quickly scanned the area and noticed he was near the highway. Perfect, I should be able to hitch a ride here. So, brazenly, he hopped the short wall and ran out onto the road. A minivan refused to stop and sped by, followed by a pair of taxis, then a sedan. The cops were getting closer and Niko was going nowhere fast.

(more…)

Grand Theft Auto IV

A Review by Cade Antilles

Okay, here it is, the inevitable review for one of the most anticipated video game titles of 2008. Except, this game is so voluminous and grandiose that one week of play time just isn’t enough time to encompass its magnificence. This game, of course, is Grand Theft Auto IV!

In this latest installment to one of the most popular and controversial game franchises, Rockstar Games returns to the game’s roots by going back to Liberty City and setting it in modern day. This time, instead of playing the silent, nameless anti-hero of GTAIII, you portray Serbian immigrant Niko Bellic (who bears a striking resemblance to Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad) who gets off the boat to find that his cousin has been lying to him about how amazing the United States is. Playing a named anti-hero isn’t new for the series, though, as players have already portrayed Italian gangster Tommy Vercetti (voiced by Ray Liotta) in GTA: Vice City, and as African-American gang member Carl Johnson in GTA: San Andreas.

(more…)

It’s been a while but I have had shit to do and well I’m lazy so here is my first attempt at a game review. First off I must begin by saying I love the Devil May Cry series of games. Yes I am biased, and I don’t care. Devil May Cry has almost everything I ever wanted in a game. Violence, explosions, demons, blood, flawless action, a large variety of cool moves (that are easy to pull off), and most importantly a smart ass main character. The original Devil May Cry is still one of my favorite games of all time. What it lacked in good story telling it more than made up for in extremely fun game play and all around badassedness! That’s right I said it, BADASSEDNESS! Devil May Cry is the story of Dante, a demon hunter (who just happens to be half demon himself, on his father’s side) who works out of a bar called (yes, you guessed it) Devil May Cry. He gets a call that there is some demon mischief, and he goes and gives those nasties a spankin. Fairly simple story I know, but like I said you DO NOT play for the story. The second game was a let down mainly because it was way to easy which made it very boring. The creators of the game apparently realized this and made the third installment more challenging. WAY MORE (I am not a writer by profession so get ready to see a lot of bad grammar and/or made up words) challenging! The boss battles were ungodly difficult, but the game surprisingly enough was still a lot of fun. They made improvements on the story telling, and gave Dante even more awesome moves by giving him four different fighting styles. Which brings us to Devil May Cry 4… (more…)